Each of us have our own unique individuality. It's important that I take a look within and recognize what my identity is. I can apply it to anything and everything I do providing I am diligent, confident and last but not least genuine towards self. I have to put myself first and not take on an identity according to what you think I should portray. Yes I know you have family and some if not most have children and loved ones who have always came first.
For 24 years I lived my life as I was a robot. I did so because it was what I was taught to do. 'Go climb that mountain," "son there's gold in them there hills." I was given the impression of that's, "how I'm suppose to do it." I succeeded in everything I ever did. Be it good or bad I've been my best at it because it's the way I was programmed to believe it should be done. Yet I wasn't happy I was living for you and not me.
So what do I do
I got mostly A's in school as a youngster. I finished tops in the class in the college I attended. I was hired the last day of the school year upon receiving my diploma. A major aircraft company was there and interviewed the top of the class. I got the job, I was on my way. You were happy, no?
Now every one's happy cept me mate
Prior to this I was nominated employee of the year two years in a row and employee of the month 3 times on the job I was putting myself through school with. That job started me out at $5.02 an hour. I'll never forget it. Why? Because it's one of the most rewarding and uneventful times of my life. And I was happy but I was still having those thoughts of materialism and societal possessions that drives us all. And the fact that my peers and loved ones thought I
'should' be doing better didn't help. So I went back to school. I should mention here that I never finished high school, it was too boring to me. I was ready for the high dive.
Living my life for others
It drains you. It sucks the life right outta ya if you let it. Always putting others before self, no matter how close or how important my career and my family is, if I put either one of those first, above myself my identity will suffer. Not only will I suffer but my career -- my family relationships and my health is doomed for dysfunction. The very things I'm putting first also decline and take a hit, and I take the blame.
Many bloggers become dependent upon someone they don't even know, simply because they are co-dependent, unassertive, stressed and losing their identity. They're fearful of using their
own skills to achieve success. Despite the negative consequences it becomes a vicious cycle to which we stay in and promote others or we simply throw in the towel and go back to what we do best, serve others. It's a vicious cycle. It applies in life folks not just with blogging and interacting on a platform designed through an application of riches, but in everyday living. Oh no, you don't have to be a blogger to soak this in, just an open-minded individual who wants to be happy and get in touch with their own identity.
If at first I want to succeed I must make some sort of sacrifice.
And it's not always an easy sacrifice. I had to take a look within and see what was holding me back from reaching my potential happiness. Make that sacrifice. Stop being influenced by what you think others want you to blog about or tweet about and do what makes you whole. It's not unhealthy to pursue a mentor in your niche. That's not what I'm saying. As a matter of fact I encourage it. It in itself is helpful and healthy. When I am stressed, stuck, pissed and what not I at least have someone to share it with who can relate to me. Someone who won't take me away from my identity but encourage me to continue to get stronger with it. So do find a mentor or maybe even become one if you have the skills.
Back to, so what do I do
I walked away from my six figure a year aircraft position. La te da! Now the peeps are talking about me. What is wrong with that boy? Has he lost his mind? I went on a happiness spree. Bet you never been on one of those and probably never even heard of or thought of one huh? OK so you've thought of one. Well I challenge you to take one. Seriously if your not happy, your stressed and feel like you've lost or never found your identity then it may be what you need. Take a risk. Not just with blogging or marketing or whatever it is you do but with your career and life in general. Walk away, divorce yourself from your fears and peeps who are holding you back. Come on you know you want to. It's scary as hell but it's not that hard.
Are you there yet? When the pain of staying the same becomes greater than the pain of changing you'll make some changes. I say go for it, step away from your co-dependent behaviors and live. Stop living your life for others. The thought of change is always more difficult than the change itself.
Go on a happiness vacation and find your identity. Who gives a shiz what direction you go in as long as your changing for you and not for your boss, your family, spouse. The circumstances that are taking away from your happiness will improve greatly if your doing what it is you want to do. And in turn your relationships will take on a whole new meaning. Some may not survive but most will grow stronger and healthier with time.
Set some goals
Here's what I encourage you to do. Set some goals and follow through. Make them realistic and put a timeline on them. Proceed ahead. Yes it may be or will be the unknown for most, but do it. Take baby steps if needed but take the steps to reach your goals. Sacrifices will come in here somewhere and so will divorce. You have to divorce yourself from yourself and whatever it is that's making you unhappy. I cannot stress enough about that word
'divorce' as you are going to have to let something go in order to
gain the more realistic identity your seeking. And from my experience it won't be easy but it won't be near as difficult as you may think.
To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.
Try to envision the worst possible outcome and ask yourself, "can I handle it, can I deal with the consequences of my choices?" I bet you will see the outcomes worst possible scenario as something you can conquer and deal with. On the other hand it may not even and usually don't even turn out as 'worst possible' it usually begets positive steps in the right direction opening up greater achievements of success. From doom and gloom of a false identity to loving and accepting who you are and being happy with you.
