Over the course of the past few months it's been quite the ride for ole Lee's Shizzle.
Reality vs. Insanity
When I changed the niche of this blog or better yet finally after nearly a year decided to give it a niche instead of just a lot of miscellaneous mumbo jumbo I never dreamed it would begin to have the impact that it does on my daily life. I begin to ask myself, "what took you so long", in other words being such a fan of reality TV why hadn't I written more about it.
Actually it's a whole lot more than writing for me, it goes beyond the aspect of just writing a post and putting up some links, giving props to last nights competitors and contestants of what ever show was on. It's became an obsession of mine to get to know some of the past and present players of the different Reality Shows on a little more up close and personal level. A great majority of you will remain distant and you have your right to your decisions, your privacy and what not, but I'd like to think that if you believe in anything as far as this blog and it's writers are concerned it is that we intend to post only accurate events and want you to believe that you will never be misquoted, have lies told about you or rumors made up to benefit me or the blog. (Only on very few occasions does anyone other than myself post here)
Some will always keep it lively though
Once a competitor always a competitor. Some still take advantage of everyday life and continue to play the game even years after being voted out or having won. Life in general has become an opportunity to build alliances, to stab someone in the back and vote them off or out if you will. The fact of the matter is, is that several are not willing to take a chance, the chance of speaking out or going against the grain, they leave their dirty work up to a member of their alliance, while others always speak their mind and make it worth the watch or in this case the read.
Their behaviors remind me of sibling rivalries.
My goal is and always has been to report the accuracy of events, share the latest happenings from previous nights episodes of certain Realitytv and feed you the latest gossip (damn did I just say the word gossip) as it's passed on to me from unamed and named sources from across the web. From the phone conversations, to latest status updates that I find on facebook, to twitters 140 characters from the so called celeb tweets. And yes occasional gossip that will not be meant to harm or hurt or inflict any pain on anyone be it emotional or otherwise. Sometimes you have to step up and take responsibility for your own actions and not blame others. Sometimes I will have to step up and admit I got it wrong too.
So Far
It also comes with it's threats, insecurities, jealousy, and last but not least the continued competitions on and off the current shows at any given time. I'm here to tell you things have not changed, I fnd the competition is only heating up with dysfunction everywhere. Reality TV is here to stay with more and more reality shows popping up each season. Nearly every last competitor wants to stay in the limelight so to speak and nearly every last contestant calls the other crazy to make themselves feel better. "Oh she's just crazy", or "oh he's just crazy", yet if they looked in the mirror when saying this would they realize they are talking about themself. Or yet, best case scenario is that they are not any different. Hell we are all crazy in our own little way. I'm not perfect yet I am one hell of a competitor. Don't cross me or I'll cross you off. Remember this, but don't be skeeerred either.
I'm also a very forgiving person and I attempt not to lay my head down on the pillow at night while still holding onto a resentment or an apology I may have needed to give out earlier in the day. Yet I still do it. But it has gotten easier to say I'm sorry, to forgive you or better yet to have no guilt for either, because I have the ability to let it go. Sometimes I let it go through the pen, getting rid of my toxic anger and grief through the keyboard. At times it's just taking the opportunity to vent to a close friend who has a very non-judgemental ear and listens as well as provides constructive criticisim.
The song by The Counting Crows, "Mr Jones" fits perfect.
"When I look at the television I wanna see me staring right back at me, we all wanna be big stars, don't know why, don't know how, everybody loves me. I wanna be just about as happy as I can be. Mr. Jones and me, gonna be a big star!"
Just don't forget I still go to bed (when I can get away from these damn blogs and facebook and twitter), get up and put my pants on and tie my shoes just like you. All the while considering myself someone who has been fortunate enough to have their 15 minutes of fame and return to a somewhat normal life while others are thriving in the spotlight and have turned it into a career. Albiet some are struggling at it while others are flourishing, but then again isn't that how it happens on the show on a regular basis? Some win, some lose and some just never find themself and stay lost. Which one are you?
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