This is My Story
Hi I'm Christian. I was born on June 15th, 1995. My mother was the first person to hold me then my sister. Where's my Pop's you say. Well who like me has a father? I said the same thing, "where's my Dad?" Before long I was crying for Mom. She's an addict and took her own life. I was sent to live with Aunt June. How ironic, I was born in June.
Auntie was the best, is the best. She always wanted me to succeed. She's there for me today. Even though I've ran off and now in juvie. The fits I throw are not directed at her or any of her attempts to help me stay on the right track, there just fits... fits of madness, anger, lonely emotions coming out. That's my pattern. Help me find a lessor release, more appropriate release.
People, counselors, guards...they all tell me that my acting out will get me nowhere. I believe them yet I'm self restrained at complying. It's been 15 yrs. of pent up emotions and along with the changes a teen like myself goes through it's time. Time to let it out. I've held it in for so long. Dam you Dad! Damn you Mom! Where are you. I need you...Just like always they don't hear me. My quietness is a blessing or has been. You want to know why I was always so quiet? I am not shy, I am not anti-social, I am me. I've got to realize this. I've been quiet for them not me.
I Want to Live, I Want to Love
Juvenile halls are for delinquents. I'm not a delinquent. If the definition of a delinquent is 'A person who neglects or fails to do what law or duty requires'. Then I have a hard time thinking I'm a delinquent. I acted out, I ran away. I didn't break any laws that I know of yet I'm considered a law breaker now.
I've smoked Pot, drank beer and liquor, shot some dope and took my fair share of pills. That's not acceptable I know. It doesn't mean I don't want the same things as you. I want to love and be loved. I want to go home. I want my family. I want Mom and Dad back...
That's not going to happen they tell me. I must get over it. How do you get over something so missing at my age? Tell me, help me, my heart aches. My spirit cries out, it's not a cry like you make, it's howling, screaming a retched cry with a moan. Oh how I miss what might have been. I just want my life to be different. I want a mentor, a teacher a loved one to wrap their arms around me and tell me it's OK. Someday, someday I'll be home with my own family, my own children, hopefully.... Christian
You can make it son, you can make it. I also hope others will realize that not everyone is delinquent just because they end up in today's juvenile halls. Our society has (in America) has become so detached from those like yourself. It's become a $$ game. Who makes the laws of your state? The legislature. What are our legislature backgrounds made of? Lawyers. Practically all of the ones we elect today are lawyers. And they then in turn make the new laws. Laws that only benefit them, not young men and women like Christian. It's time to take a look at how you vote, who you vote for and more importantly, it's time to reach out to those like Christian and offer your support and guidance. They didn't ask for such dilemma's, they were born into it. Not all want to change but Christian does. Will you help? Help someone in your neighborhood, block or street corner. Don't let a runaway be just another runaway.
